A slut’s everyday guide to vaginal health

(Also great for those of you who don’t necessarily identify as a slut.)

Originally posted July, 2023, updated February 2026

I am not a medical professional. Duh. I am, however, an experienced slut who has learned a lot. This is not medical advice - it’s an everyday, practical guide based on my own experience and the collective wisdom of my (mostly) slutty friends.

Female health in the lifestyle is extraordinarily important. Yes, male health matters too, but if you have a vagina, things are just more complicated. When you first get into the lifestyle, almost every woman I’ve talked to thinks that there must be something wrong with her. There isn’t. Our vaginas are particular, for real.

This topic isn’t just about physical health - you cannot be a happy and healthy slut if you’re constantly anxious and afraid.

STIs: The Big Conversation

One of the biggest concerns when having multiple sexual partners is sexually transmitted infections (STIs). STI is the current medical term, in case you’re still calling them STDs like I was when we started. I’m not going into much detail here because STI’s are an important and big conversation, but not the exact point of this article, so I’m going to keep it brief.

No one wants to contract an STI. No one. But stigma causes fear and shame and that fear and shame keep people from having the conversations we absolutely must have to avoid getting them. If I was in excel, we’d be getting a circular reference error.

From the World Health Organization (because this is simply stated):

“Eight pathogens are linked to the greatest incidence of STIs. Of these, four are currently curable: syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and trichomoniasis. The other four are incurable viral infections: hepatitis B, herpes simplex virus (HSV), human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), and human papillomavirus (HPV).”

After conversations with several physicians (again, not medical advice), two important points came up:

• HIV is now considered highly manageable with modern medications and does not statistically affect life expectancy.

• Those in the lifestyle may want to think about vaccinations the way medical professionals do - especially with Hepatitis B. Many of us were vaccinated as children, but it’s worth double-checking and getting this one.

There’s still trauma and stigma around HIV in particular. Saying out loud that treatment has evolved feels important.

Your Care Team Matters

My husband and I are completely open with our doctor about our lifestyle. We prefer frank conversations about risk.

Doctors are obligated to keep your information private (thank you, HIPAA). While they should also avoid judgment, that doesn’t always happen. I’ve experienced:

• A doctor who judged me for having BV.

• A doctor who was almost… jealous.

• Our current doctor, who is open-minded and non-judgmental.

We live in Utah, which adds another cultural layer. Use your judgment. If your provider feels uncomfortable or shaming, find another. Planned Parenthood, county health clinics, and online resources can all be options.

You deserve competent, shame-free care.

Testing: How Often Is Enough?

In the lifestyle community the norm I see is testing every three months.

My husband and I now both test every three months on the same schedule - we used to alternate every six months each, but recommendations have shifted.

Some couples:

• Alternate testing

• Test every six weeks

• Test before and after major events (in addition to regular testing)

• Use at-home kits for more frequent screening or to keep from having awkward conversations with their family doc.

It depends on your activity level and your comfort.

Oral & Anal Testing

A truly thorough STI panel includes oral swabs, but many (most?) doctors don’t automatically offer this. Ask. Or use at-home kits that include oral and anal testing. I’m an affiliate for STD Hero because I genuinely like them (code Lauren10 for 10% off), but there are several good companies out there. The point is simple: Test regularly, people. Test regularly.

Condoms (Yes, We Have to Talk About It)

Condoms are the best protection against STIs and a good protection against pregnancy.

And yet.

Many women experience vaginal imbalance from condoms. Friction, lubricant ingredients, latex - it can all affect pH. Someone please invent a condom lubricated with something pH-balancing. Vaginas everywhere would rejoice.

Some tight-knit couples forego condoms and rely on testing and trust. There’s also community discussion about condoms creating a “false sense of security” when multiple fluid exchanges are happening and the general lack of oral testing.

I’m not here to make that call for you. I am here to repeat:

Condoms and testing.

Anal Sex

No debate here. Anal sex carries a significantly higher STI transmission risk. Condoms are strongly recommended.

Latex Allergies

A friend discovered she had a latex allergy because condoms caused her pain. Switching to non-latex solved the issue immediately. Easy fix and worth trying.

Female Condoms

Underrated. I’ve used them. My partner climaxed (which he rarely does with condoms), and I experienced tremendous pleasure. They take practice to insert and aren’t particularly sexy, but neither are most condoms. Except that safe sex is always sexy!

More options = more empowerment.

Dental Dams

In seven years of slutdom, I have never seen someone use protection during oral sex on a woman. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t, it’s just uncommon. I did once have someone use a condom when I was giving him oral - it was horrible (for me), so if you do this, plan ahead with flavored condoms or the like.

If using protection during oral gives you peace of mind, use it. Just know there may be some learning and teaching/communication involved because most don’t.

Planned Parenthood has a helpful article on dental dams if you’re curious: Dental Dams Unwrapped. It’s an older article, but to my knowledge, there hasn’t been a lot of innovation here.

HPV & Vaccination

There is a vaccine that protects against cancer and genital warts caused by HPV. If you’re married, your doctor may assume you don’t need it. Advocate for yourself. I’m married and promiscuous. I got it. Many insurance plans now cover it for adults.

The short answer: get the vaccine.

Lastly, you may have heard about Doxy-PEP - a dose of doxycycline taken after sex that can reduce the risk of bacterial STIs like chlamydia and syphilis, but doesn’t protect against HIV (that’s what PrEP is for) or other viral infections like herpes or HPV. For a deeper breakdown of both Doxy-PEP and PrEP, listen to this podcast I found helpful: Pleas(e) Me! Podcast with Eve: The New Era of STI Prevention: From DoxyPEP to At-Home Testing | Safer Sex. The episode following is on the topic also so you might just want to follow her (and I was on her podcast Oct of last year).

Now Let’s Talk About the Everyday Vagina Life

The vagina is very particular about pH balance. And in the lifestyle? A lot can throw it off:

• Friction (toys, cocks, enthusiasm and quantity)

• Shared fluids

• Condoms

• Hot tubs, especially staying too long

• Staying in wet bathing suits too long (I know, we don’t wear bathing suits in the lifestyle, but just in case you are new:))

• Any anal-to-vaginal cross-contamination (never ever do this). Fingers or cocks in anuses get washed before play continues.

• Looking at her in the wrong way

When pH goes off, problems follow.

Common Infections

Yeast Infections

I’ve had them on and off since college. Since using pH-balancing products (below) regularly? Rare.

Fluconazole (one-pill treatment) is my go-to when needed. Ask your doctor for it, especially if you get them on any kind of regular basis. The OTC suppositories work (I’ve had friends tell me to never use the 1-dose ones), but they take days and they are messy. I think Fluconazole is the way to go, but most of us have our yeast infection fixes by now.

Bacterial Vaginosis (BV)

Common. Not an STI.

Symptoms often include:

• Fishy odor

• Discharge changes

• Sometimes discomfort

The first time I had it, I misdiagnosed it as yeast and made it worse (somehow I made it to my 40’s without knowing about BV). By the time I saw a doctor, I was in some pain.

Treatment:

• 7 days of oral antibiotics that taste like metal. There is no alcohol allowed whatsoever. This doesn’t seem like a big deal, but the first time I was taking this was just before and on our way to a lifestyle resort so not drinking for the first few days was…less fun.

Way better alternative:

• Same antibiotic, in gel format (you insert it vaginally). It has fewer side effects, like ruining your gut, and worked better for me You will likely need to request the gel specifically.

UTIs

Pee after sex. Every single time.

Yes, it’s annoying. Yes, do it anyway.

The tie in to pH balance is that a vagina with a healthy pH is at it’s protective best in terms of letting things get through. I also use a UTI prevention system (Uquora). Not an affiliate - just helpful for me for peace of mind.

pH Balancing Products That seriously Help

Rephresh Gel (several brands available, Rephresh is what I use)

I usually insert before bed. Helps stabilize pH for a few days. Expect:

• Extra wetness the next morning

• Some harmless white flaking during sex

Widely available.

Boric Acid Suppositories

They sound scary, but these have seriously changed my vaginal health life. I use pH-D brand. Insert at night and expect to be a bit ‘watery’ in the morning upon waking, nothing after that. Also widely available and there are many brands to choose from. I’ll use these at the first sign of being ‘off’ but I also automatically use them after a very active weekend, whether with just my husband or with others. Sometimes I’ll do one a couple nights in a row and if I think it’s really a case of BV coming on, up to 3 nights in a row. There’s no harm in them. In fact, when I first told my hormone doc about them, she was skeptical. She did her own research and came back to me with a resounding, “I’ve changed my mind - yes use these!” Because everyone I know uses them with so much success, I was going to be surprised if she came back with anything else, but it was great to get the full thumb’s up. I know I’m kind of going on and on here about these little miracles, but they deserve it. And again, I learned about these from a friend, not a doc. See the trend here?

These two products alone have dramatically reduced infections for me and my friends.

A few other notes

Blood

Sometimes vaginas bleed - not just from menstruation. I have a good friend who says she bleeds a little with larger men (I don’t mean their weight). Don’t panic unnecessarily. Women usually know when something is concerning. Guys? Take your cues from her.

Pregnancy

Even if pregnancy isn’t a concern for you, your partner getting someone else pregnant might be.

Vasectomies are practical and powerful solutions in addition to aforementioned condoms and of course, your own birth control.

Menopause (My 2026 Update)

Since the first time I wrote this post, I’ve now gone through menopause. The lack of adequate medical support in this area is staggering. Many women end up doing deep research themselves and turning to private hormone health clinics. I feel there’s a convergence happening between mainstream medicine and emerging menopause care, but we’re not there yet. You do not have to suffer. Our good friend, Oprah, is an advocate here - maybe start here: https://www.oprahdaily.com/menopause-class/. Also, look up / follow Dr. Mary Claire Haver.

Final Thoughts

It frustrates me (serious understatement) that so much of what I’ve learned came from friends instead of doctors. The female body is complex, which should warrant more research, not less (ahem, medical community).

Ladies, we still have to look out for one another.

If you have updates, corrections, or better information, please reach out. I’d love to keep this guide current.

Otherwise, wishing you happy and healthy fucking.