Two-in-one
I wrote this for an SDC contest, “write about your first experience,” a year after my husband and I were in the lifestyle. Now we have been in for almost five and it is interesting to re-read my perspective back then vs. now. It hasn’t changed that much – my insights into the connection and the improvements in our relationship have continued to grow, in some ways exponentially. As is common, most of our friends are now lifestyle and connection, I believe, is the driving force of the community. Some would say sex, which is not entirely off, but connection is really the secret sauce. The growth that we have experienced as a couple and as individuals comes from weathering the snags along the way, which are inevitable too. Since sharing first experiences is a common and wonderful way to get to know each other, I thought I would kick off the blog with that story.
Having recently celebrated our first Lifestyle anniversary, I have enjoyed looking back on our first experience. Interestingly, determining which one was our first LS experience is challenging! Is it the first joint fantasy that got us laughing and sweating together? Is it the first time having sex at a club with others watching? Or was it the first full swap? We’ve had a series of firsts leading into being a full-swap couple, yet there is one that hurdled us over the line from curious to all-in!
Like other couples we’ve met, we initially thought we would restrict our LS experiences to times when we were traveling. We chose Vegas for our first adventure. Our “LS mentors” warned us that Vegas visitors are flakey—couples who dream of sexual adventure, but no-show for fear of the unknown. To avoid a date-less Friday night, we arranged two dates with enough time in between to avoid being the flakes that we had heard about. Our first drinks-date was scheduled early—a couple of hours after our plane landed. We were not going to waste any time! The nervous excitement was real. I was trembling, but remember focusing on my hair and make-up the way an athlete preps their equipment to calm their insides.
We settled in to the hotel lobby bar with our cocktails and our nervous smiles. Our dates showed up on time and looked just like their pictures -already a great start! We chatted for a while and really hit it off. At least we thought we did…what did we know about any of this!? After comfortable conversation, mostly about LS, and lots of laughing, hubs mentioned, “since we’ve never done this before, we don’t really know how to take it from here.” The other husband turned to his wife and said, “Honey, I think that’s an invitation!” We all laughed and agreed that we would like to move upstairs to our room. They were not quite as newbie as we were, having had one previous experience that ended with some unfortunate drama. To be honest, I didn’t know if I would cause drama. I didn’t want to be “that” person, of whom I had heard many accounts, but since we had never swapped, how was I to know what my thoughts, feelings and reactions would be to seeing someone else with my husband!?
Once in our room, we sat on the chairs next to our king-sized bed. It was awkward. No one knew how to get started. Fortunately, the other hubs suggested that the wives kiss. My first girl kiss and I loved it! After some long kisses and a bit of over-the-clothes touching, we split into swapped couples. Then I was kissing another guy for the first time in over 14 years! Hmmmm, surprisingly natural! Well, as natural as it could be when settling into someone else’s kissing technique. He had gum, so he felt juicy and tasted minty in my mouth. Hearing (and watching) hubs kiss another woman? So far, it was good! A turn-on!
Other hubs and I started undressing one another. We seemed to be ahead of our spouses (after a year of playing, it seems to almost always be the case that I am ahead) so I mentioned this, out loud. I had always heard and read that communication was key in LS, so I thought I’d make sure everyone in the room was OK to go to the next level of naked! Everyone was. We continued down our coupled paths of intensifying foreplay, taking it all in with glances and “ohhhh, that’s hot!” comments to our significant others. Other hubs and I continued to stay ahead of the other two.
When we moved to the bed, I announced this. Just before penetration, I announced that too, “everyone good? This is about to happen!” Everyone was. I was on top of him, and I had a very brief moment of thinking, I can’t believe this is happening! And then, it was happening! I was relieved to note that it didn’t feel strange to be fucking another man after all of these years! It only felt lusciously GREAT. I did feel slightly more insecure about what he might have been thinking, but that was a fleeting thought while I dove into the pleasure of the moment. I was also very much enjoying husband (by now) having sex with another woman next to us on the bed. Not only was I not jealous, but it was the hottest, most titillating thing I had ever seen. As a person who is not into porn, I could not believe how much of a turn on it was to watch the intertwined bodies and hear the groans of pleasure! I was absolutely high on sexual stimulation–physical, mental, and visual. Wow, my mind was blown!
We all experienced other firsts that night, including, while other wife was riding hubs, she squirted. And squirted. And squirted again! We all had a vague notion of what it was but none of us had experienced it in real life! It was like porn-fiction made reality for my husband. We ended with more swapping back and forth and happy endings for all (even more amazing considering I often find it challenging to orgasm in group situations). We relaxed and chatted about how comfortable…and HOT this experience was for everyone. We laughed again about all of the squirting!
After they left, we showered and went to dinner to discuss how we felt about what had just transpired. Our first full swap! It was an easy conversation, “Hot! Jealous? Nope. Any boundaries to include?” I actually added one – he had called her “baby” during play and that bothered me. “OK – no pet names! Any other issues? Nope.” We enjoyed our sushi with huge smiles on our faces and a rosy after-sex-with-another-couple glow.
After dinner, by now around 11:00 p.m. hubs mentioned that we had another meet and greet at a different hotel bar. He had mentioned our schedule on the way to dinner, but I had forgotten. I was surprised but, OK! Meeting people was what this weekend was about – and I was IN! The couple was gorgeous and we connected with them right away. We played again. Two hook-ups on our first night. It felt surprisingly natural! We called it beginners luck and ran with it. I think we made it to our own bed around 4:00 a.m. and fucked again with a sexual fervor that was whipped up as we whispered some of our favorite scenes from the night to each other. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. and masturbated. I wondered what in the world was happening to me that I wasn’t completely exhausted and wanted MORE sex! It was what I’ve since termed the ‘hormone high’ and I love it.
That weekend was a defining LS moment for us and it was clear that we both wanted to proceed down this adventurous path! Now, after one year and many reflections, the word we keep coming back to is connection. We felt it the first time and we’ve continued to revel in it. It is not, however, just the connection with others that we enjoy but also the connection between us – LS has enhanced our own relationship in ways we never imagined.